nuances

1. a subtle difference or distinction in expression, meaning, response, etc.
2. a very slight difference or variation in color or tone.

Lately Ive been having the same dreams. It usually takes place in my house or backyard, or any other familiar setting of the sort. The dreams always begin with a sense of familiarity and the known and the feeling of comfort and joy you get when your in your own home or dwelling place.

The second part of the dreams involve me stumbling upon a nuance in the home or yard....usually a new sunlit room or pristine meadow. The feeling is always one of surprise yet ease and affiliation, and there is always a sense of something greater at work in the discovery. Something like the divine hand of God's nudging, gentle pressing. Providence unveiling.

Im learning something that contradicts my personality. In my estimation, new is found in untold future events and changes in scenery. New is the unattainable illusion I hope to find over the next crest in the road. Always insubstantial, always myth, new distracts me with unrealistic quips of the future and no sense of the present. New is my holy grail, my loch ness monster, an interterrestrial encounter, my yeti and sasquatch combined.

Never before have I thought to find new through nuances of my preexisting surroundings. And never before has the present been so enjoyable. It seems I have been missing all the glorious gradient hues of the everyday--and here they were the whole time, right in front of me!

Of course, the future is nothing to shake a stick at. It is uncontrolled and unpredicted, alive and breathing and beckoning me on in an intimidating manor.

Yet I will awake with the dawn and find myself renewed with the orbit of each day, putting on the new self and carrying it as protection from the wind and rain.